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Imagine if people knew about the feelings that we hide

By the time you read this, my brand spanking new website would've launched. I’m not sure what your first impression is, but I hope it was something along the lines of “wow this looks really good”. Or maybe “she did this herself? She must be so smart”. Hahahaha I flatter myself I know. It’s probably because building the site has driven me mental. Don’t get me wrong, I used a site-builder, but boy, did I want to rip my hair out over the smallest things - especially when I had to edit the html code. It took me two days to work out how to get the logo looking crystal clear. Two days to work out how to align the boxes on my product page via CSS when integrating with third party apps. I pretty much spent every waking moment poring over all the elements needed to get the site that I had envisioned up and running. I know, I know, I need to learn to be less pedantic. Stop sweating the small stuff!

I need to take a moment to be proud of my achievements.

It’s funny, because that feeling only lasts a moment. As I’m sitting here typing this, I have mixed emotions. Granted, it is 12am and the overwhelming feeling is that of sleepiness. Sleepiness numbs the fear. But yes, the fear is definitely there.

What am I afraid of?

I’m afraid that no one will buy my products.

I’m afraid that people will buy my products and say that they’re crap.

I’m afraid that someone else has already done what I'm doing, did a better job of it, and it's cheaper.

I’m afraid that all of my effort and the parts of myself that I’ve poured into my work will go to waste.

I’m afraid that if it’s good, I won’t be able to produce anything that’s just as good. I’m afraid that I’ll be a one-hit wonder.

I’m afraid that if it’s not good, I won’t be able to produce anything that’s better. I’m already trying my hardest.

I’m afraid that there will be interest for a day, then crickets.

I’m afraid that there will be zero interest, and crickets forever.

You see, fear goes around in circles. They say that fear is irrational, but it sure seems to me that there is a very real possibility of the above scenarios unfolding. No matter how many happy customers I've already served, or the messages of appreciation that I get from you guys over Instagram every day, the fear is always there. I guess it's not about eliminating the fear, but more about moving forward anyway. It's common knowledge that the road to success is riddled with failure. I believe that. I believe that failure teaches you things and makes you grow in ways that success never can. But at the same time, the thought of failure still makes me feel anxious. 

How do you deal with fear? What are some of the things that you say to yourself?


4 comments

  • Erina, you are too kind! Yes I definitely have many moments of self-doubt but you’re right, there can be no fruit without the effort of fruit-picking. That was a terrible analogy but I agree with what you said. Cheers to always striving towards our dreams!

    Fiona Ariva
  • Thanks Raed, that means a lot to me. Hope you have a lovely day!

    Fiona Ariva
  • Hi Fiona,
    It’s so crazy to me that someone as talented as you feels all these things too! You were one of the first people I followed when I started my lettering account and I continue to follow you because I love your style and helpful tips and hope to be half as good as you one day. I think you’re right about fear of failure/rejection always being there, but you have to remember that you’re only ever going to achieve what you try and if you don’t ever try, the only person you’re failing is yourself. Best wishes with this new venture of yours! The website looks great. :)

    Erina
  • Hi fiona,,,
    I have strong feeling that you will be succeeding in this artwork, you are talent and ambitious women. I’m proud of you really.

    Raed

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